Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
