Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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