yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
