So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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