That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
