oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
