My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
where am i from again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
