apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize