being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
