I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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