Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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