Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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