Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
