I love black thongs
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
