Pappa wants mamma naked
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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