Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
