wanna go halves on a baby?
You can't special order awesome
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish i was in the wii world.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
