I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
