I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
