Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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