My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
