you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
