This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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