just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think my moral compass just broke
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
