The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
