how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
