He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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