i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
