so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize