big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
