theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
