He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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