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• (830): View more from Texas

  You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

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• (707): View more from California

  the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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• (760): View more from California

  I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.

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• (442): View more from California

  Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF

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