No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
