What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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