The maid of honor just puked.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
