If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
