Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize