Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We're too hungover to prance.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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