Midget sex pt 2 tonight
accomplished twins. life is a go
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
