At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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