Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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