Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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