So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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