I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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