I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
