Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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