My first STD was from a foam party
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize