Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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