oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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