hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
