ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
