just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
and she was petting her beer can
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
