So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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