i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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