What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
