Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
