and i looked up. we had an audience...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
