this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
