hell yes lets make some ravioli
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
