so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
