So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
