awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
