you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
